The art of letting go

good morning, my loves;

Why do we wait until we absolutely, cannot stand something before we are willing to let it go?

Asking for a friend. (me. I’m the friend)

what’s the sitch?:

• Mind: The Venn diagram for resisting change and your need to control everything is a circle, babe. 🤔 

• Body: what if you could stop yo-yoing dieting forever and just live healthily without thinking about it? Too good to be true? I think not.

• Flow: music is art for the soul. Full-stop.

Updates: Ripping the skate course apart because half of it was recorded before my brother passed, and the second half was recorded when I was trying to force myself to create while still in the agony of grief. So. I’m scrapping it.

Sorry for the wait, but that means you can totally take the opportunity to let me know what you want in the course, and I’ll make sure it gets in. Forgive me. And it’ll be worth it, I promise.

In the meantime, check out more skate videos on Youtube. ❤️ 

[content i’m loving right now:]

books: so I’m rereading Attached by Amir Levine. I first read it back in 2018 after a particularly messy breakup; it’s been interesting to look at where I started and appreciate my own transition from anxious-avoidant attachment to secure in such a short span of time. If you’re interested in attachment styles or want to be more intentional with dating, this one won’t lead you astray.

ted talk: In this video, actor Ethan Hawke encourages you to embrace your creativity by giving yourself permission to explore and express your artistic passions by sharing how creativity is a vital aspect of the human experience and encourages us to unleash our inner artist without fear of judgment. If you seek motivation to tap into your creative potential and break free from self-doubt, give it a listen.

[mind:] The Art of Letting Go: A Journey Towards Embracing Impermanence

Things change so fast now. Perhaps now more than ever, we find ourselves clinging to attachments that keep us stuck in the past or prevent us from embracing new beginnings.

When we recognize the power of letting go and growing an understanding of impermanence, we can easily navigate transitions and welcome new opportunities with open arms.

What are attachments?

Attachments can come in various forms - relationships, material possessions, beliefs, and even our own self-identities.

It might help to think of attachments as the emotional or psychological bonds we form with people, things, or ideas. While attachments are not inherently negative, they become problematic when they prevent us from living in the present moment and hinder our personal growth.

When we cling too tightly to attachments, we resist change and hold on to situations or circumstances that no longer serve us. (Think about that relationship you seemed to drag on wayyyyy past its expiration date.)

This resistance creates suffering and prevents us from fully experiencing the beauty of life as it unfolds. By acknowledging that everything is impermanent, we can let go of attachments and open ourselves up to new experiences and possibilities.

Why do we get so attached?

We get attached to ideas, people, objects, and outcomes because they bring comfort, validation, and a sense of identity. It's like having a safety blanket that makes us feel secure and happy. It’s natural to have attachments; they protect our current reality. Here are some of the more reasons we may be holding too tightly to something:

1. Identity and Ego: Attachments can be tied to our self-identity and ego. We may hold on to certain ideas, beliefs, or possessions because they contribute to our sense of who we are and how we fit into the world.

2. Comfort and Familiarity: Familiarity brings a sense of comfort and safety. We become attached to familiar ideas or routines because they provide a sense of stability and predictability in an ever-changing world.

3. Fear of Loss: The fear of losing something or someone can lead to attachment. We may cling to it to avoid feelings of loss or emptiness, whether it's a person, an object, or an idea.

4. Emotional Significance: Some attachments are formed because of emotional significance. We may hold on to memories or objects that evoke strong emotions or sentimental value.

5. Validation and Belonging: Attachments to certain ideologies or groups can provide a sense of validation and belonging. It allows us to connect with like-minded individuals and feel a part of something greater.

6. Desire for Control: Attachments can stem from a desire to control our lives and surroundings. We may seek to manipulate outcomes or cling to certain ideas to feel in charge of our destiny.

7. Escaping Unpleasant Emotions: Some attachments act as distractions from uncomfortable emotions or realities. They may serve as coping mechanisms to avoid facing deeper issues.

8. Social Conditioning: Societal norms, culture, and upbringing play a role in shaping our attachments. We may adopt certain ideas or beliefs because they are ingrained in our culture or passed down through generations.

9. Perceived Happiness: We may believe that acquiring certain objects, achieving specific outcomes, or being associated with certain people will bring us happiness and fulfillment.

Letting go is an art form. It’s a delicate dance of applying the law of least effort and honoring ourselves and those around us. It’s not about discarding or disregarding what we once cherished but rather about releasing our grip and allowing things to take their course naturally. It is a practice of surrendering control and embracing the ebb and flow of life.

To incorporate the art of letting go into our daily lives, here four things you can do starting today:

1. Cultivate Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness is a powerful tool for letting go of attachments. By bringing our attention to the present moment without judgment, we can observe our attachments and the emotions that arise without getting entangled. Don’t be afraid to ask questions of yourself, be open to the answers: Are we attached to ideas about ourselves? About life? Others? That one specific outcome? Does that thinking still serve us? Did it even belong to us to begin with?

2. Practice Non-Attachment: In Buddhist teachings, non-attachment is emphasized as a way to reduce suffering. Reflect on areas of your life where attachment may be causing distress or stagnation, and consciously work towards detachment by reminding yourself of impermanence and cultivating acceptance. Accept people who they are and offer loving kindness instead of trying to change them.

3. Declutter Physical Space: Take time daily to declutter and organize your physical environment. Letting go of material possessions that no longer serve a purpose can create a sense of liberation and freedom. Thank them for their service, and then let them go.

4. Cultivate Gratitude: Express appreciation for the present moment and the experiences and people that have shaped you. Pay homage to the paths of survival you had to take, and thank them for being there when you needed it, so you can feel good about letting them go in exchange for new ones.

By understanding and accepting impermanence, we can approach life with a sense of curiosity and adaptability.

We can detach ourselves from the outcome and find solace in the present moment. This mindset allows us to embrace uncertainty and welcome new beginnings with open hearts instead of clenched fists. Maybe then we might not have to wait until we lose all love for something, lose someone, or lose at all before we allow change into our lives.

Instead of fighting, we can welcome change like an old friend, ready for the next adventure.

[body:] tired of your fitness routine not sticking?

Just dropping this nugget in your inbox.

Seven years ago, I started my fitness journey. I was lucky enough to be introduced to the Whole Life Challenge within the first few months of going to the gym. It gave me a super-balanced foundation for building the habits I have today. I plan on completing the next round in September to refresh myself. I thought I’d share if you wanted to join in and needed an accountability buddy.

The Whole Life Challenge is a simple 6-week health and lifestyle program designed to create positive habits and improve overall well-being. You check in daily on the app as you engage in daily practices focusing on seven key areas: nutrition, exercise, mobility, sleep, hydration, reflection, and lifestyle.

I loved this challenge because it encouraged me to make mindful choices and focused on helping me cultivate a balanced approach to life. It also reshaped my relationship with food. I eat what I want; I do not restrict myself. Just balance.

In 7 years, I have maintained all the habits for the most part and have never had to experience yo-yo/fad dieting or stress when it comes to maintaining my weight because instead of focusing on a number, I learned how to fuel myself properly. Once I got out of the way, my body did the rest and hovers around 138-145 these days.

The habits I learned in this challenge are one of the tools that I can say had a hand in me not going crazy with everything that has happened this year.

After my first go with this challenge, I threw out my scale and haven’t owned one since. Having this foundation has contributed 100% to my skater life, too in case you were wondering. Maybe you can find some use for it too.

Check out the challenge details and the food lists for Beginner, Lifestyle, and Performance levels for a preview.

[flow:] you can’t be a roller skate disco queen goddess without music.

One of the keys to unlocking your flow on skates is having a good playlist.

Here is one of my favorites to turn my brain off and move my body to.

It’s all over the place.

Don’t act like I didn’t warn you. 😃 

I make a new playlist every month. I’ve been doing it since I got Spotify back in 2015. Something I didn’t intend to happen was having a collection of playlists that are mini time capsules able to transport me back to what I was feeling during that specific time period through music.

(p.s: can you tell I was going through something in Oct 2016? 🤣)

[accountability corner]: experiments i am currently running in my life

Going on these little self-dates has done wonders for getting me back into a space that feels good to be alive. Maintaining is the goal in the upcoming week. I find it funny how quickly I can find excuses not to take myself out.

Here's to one day at a time.

See you in the next one.

^{*_{Julia Cameron's "Artist's Dates" are special outings you take with yourself to nurture and rejuvenate your creative spirit. These solo adventures are all about exploring new places, activities, or experiences that ignite your imagination and inspire your artistic journey. It's a lovely way to reconnect with your creativity and rediscover the magic in everyday life.}} 🎨✨

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p.s: Find me other places and check out my adult rollerskating course if you like a more structured approach. From sock practice drills and move breakdowns to skate affirmations and beyond. I’ve got you covered there, too boo.