Choose your own adventure

good morning, my loves;

let’s talk life philosophies.

are you a glass-half-empty or a glass-half-full kind of person?

Might I interest you in a third option?

what’s the sitch?:

life lessons this week: my 4-year-old niece is visiting, and despite the absolutely beautiful messiness of my life right now, I have still journaled every day. That there is what I like to call a win. There’s major spiritual retooling in the process, and spending time with children has been really pleasant because I played more this week than I have in months, and it’s put into perspective how beautiful life can be when you’re not struggling against the moment.

[content i’m loving right now:]

Books: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. This book has been doing wonders with unblocking my creativity and rebuilding my journaling habit. I’ve been STRUGGLING to create anything, and it’s a scary place for me to be. I am currently on week 3, and my only regret is that I hadn’t started sooner. C’est la vie.

Music: King Green - if you're into thought-provoking lyrics without being too preachy, I found your guy. To be honest, it's still hard for me to listen to music since my brother passed away but King Green, MonRovia, and a few other peeps have made the cut to stay on replay. His lyrics give me hella: "I know this to be true, but I couldn't put it into words like this.'- energy.

Give it a listen: +Positive Vibes for Negative Times

[mind:] Tragic Optimism vs Toxic Positivity

can you suffer…better?

Toxic positivity often encourages the avoidance of negative emotions and denies the existence of suffering. This can include denying or invalidating one's own or others' genuine pain, struggle, feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration. (#goodvibesonly, #justbehappy, #toxica)

Tragic optimism and toxic positivity are two contrasting concepts that deal with how we can approach and cope with difficult situations in life. While they both involve maintaining a positive mindset, they differ significantly in their underlying principles and potential impact on our well-being.

On the flip side: Tragic optimism is the belief that even in the face of unbearable suffering or tragedy, there is still potential for growth, meaning, and purpose in life. (i.e: that time that life hit me with a triple combo)

It aims to acknowledge the reality of tragedy while still maintaining a sense of hope and optimism as you focus on embracing both the joys and sorrows of life. You are able to do this because you have an understanding that we simply cannot have one without the other.

okay...i don't get it. how's that any different from toxic positivity?

Tragic optimism encourages us to confront and accept the harsh realities of life while finding the strength to persevere and find meaning (notice I said meaning and not happiness. Happiness is fleeting. More on this in future editions) in our experiences. Rather than ignoring negativity, it promotes a realistic and balanced outlook, recognizing that pain and suffering are inevitable parts of life.

tight. i'm in. how do I apply this in my life?

To incorporate tragic optimism into our daily lives, we can start by developing a mindset that acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of life. It involves accepting that hardships and challenges are inevitable but also recognizing that these experiences can shape us and offer valuable opportunities for personal growth. Additionally, practicing gratitude for the positive aspects in our lives while simultaneously: acknowledging, feeling fully, and learning from the negative, can help cultivate that sense of resilience and meaning.

We can also start by simply being present in each moment. Mindfulness helps us become aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, we can observe our experiences and emotions with kindness and curiosity.

(we might ask ourselves: "What am I feeling right now? at this moment, truly?

Not what I think I should be feeling but what am I actually feeling right now?", mustering all of our honesty, courage, genuine curiosity, and desire to know the answer)

This awareness allows us to recognize when we might be slipping into toxic positivity or denying our true feelings.

In grieving my brother, on some dark days, the only thing that has helped me was two questions:

"What am I supposed to be learning from this pain?"

&

"How can I help others to avoid this pain?"

Sometimes, that's all you have to get you through. But it's worth so much more than you think.

what’s the impact?

It’s important to differentiate between tragic optimism and toxic positivity to understand their impact on our emotional well-being.

Tragic optimism promotes a realistic and balanced approach, allowing for the acknowledgment of pain and suffering while fostering resilience and the pursuit of meaning. While toxic positivity denies the validity of negative emotions and can lead to emotional suppression and disconnection.

Incorporating tragic optimism into our daily lives allows us to develop resilience, cultivate gratitude, and embrace the full spectrum of human experiences. It is a powerful antidote and alternative to toxic positivity and enables us to navigate adversity with strength and wisdom.

Start where you are and build up. Pay attention to how you feel, making sure to

[body:] Everybody has to play the floor tax - Skate Safety

Okay, my love. let’s set the scene. I’m your rollerskating fairy god sister, holding your shoulders and looking into your eyes.

deep breath:

you are not the exception, my beautiful, hopeful friend.

you will fall down. and it might suck.

we are in: ‘when not if’ territory.

There, I said it. You can stop worrying about being embarrassed or afraid for it to happen because it is inevitable. You are free to choose now. Our options are: to remain frozen in fear and cause ourselves unnecessary suffering when we could totally just practice for the inevitable thing we know will be coming.

Check out some of the gear that can help your inevitable fall be a little less brutal and a few ways you can practice building your mind-body connection.

It’s like doomsday prepping for 8 wheels. It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Except you will totally need it.

Because you will fall.

okay?

okay.

[flow:] Penny for your thoughts?

Mindful Moment: Here's a quick mindfulness practice you can incorporate over the next few weeks to cultivate awareness and develop a growth-oriented, tragic optimist mindset.

"Mindful Breathing":

Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath.

Notice the sensation as you inhale and exhale.

Let go of distractions and gently guide your attention back to your breath whenever your mind wanders. Be patient.

Don’t jerk yourself back; thank yourself for bringing the thought to your attention and return to your breathing. Repeat.

Practice this for a few minutes each day.

It brings calm and clarity and helps you stay present in the moment.

Be kind. Be curious.

Bonus:

Journal Prompt: Reflect on a challenge you recently faced. Write about what you learned from that experience and how you can apply those lessons to other areas of your life. How would you offer insight to someone else going through it?

[accountability corner]: experiments i am currently running in my life

Here's to one day at a time.

See you in the next one.